Ep 16 - Adam Goldschmiedt
"Let my freak flag fly": Adam Goldschmiedt on why the dating stage and the session room need to match
Key takeaways
Adam refused the sports jacket: no performance version at prospect meetings, only his authentic self.
Dating stage must match session four: if you wouldn't wear it for eight hours straight, don't wear it to the 90-minute pitch.
Authenticity wins over polish: clients hire the real version and know exactly what to expect in every room.
Your core values do the work; everything else is just noise and distraction.
Lean into how you actually operate on a Tuesday, then keep doing exactly that.
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The Idea
The sports jacket stays in the closet.
Adam was driving between meetings. The first was a casual breakfast. Jeans, sneakers, untucked shirt. The second was a real estate investment firm. Suits. Buttoned up. And for about twenty seconds, he seriously considered stopping home to change into a sports jacket.
"Thankfully, about twenty seconds after I contemplated that idea, I said, Absolutely not. I'm gonna show up then every single time I meet with them in a suit, like we're gonna have to be doing a session and I'm gonna stay there for eight hours a day uncomfortable and like with my t shirt tucked in when that's not who I am."
The logic was immediate: if he dressed up for the prospect meeting, he would have to keep dressing up. Every session. For years. He would be performing a version of himself that did not exist.
"They need to see me in my natural state. And if they like it, great. And if they don't, that's okay. There's plenty of Implementers in this community who are buttoned up, who do come in with the slacks and the shirt and the collar. And they're awesome."
This is not about clothes. It is about the gap between how you show up in the dating stage and how you show up once you are in the room. Adam spent his early days following his mentor Tzvi Schwartz around, sitting shotgun in sessions for two months before boot camp. He learned the tools, the rhythm, the craft. But he also learned what not to borrow.
"Despite the fact that we have all these similarities, our personalities are very different. The way we present is very different. The context, analogies, references we use are just very, very different."
Chris Beer added the frame that makes this matter for any EOS® Implementer, not just Adam. She pointed to Shelly Woodrow, who flies with business development through talks, and named the real risk: "Making sure that you show up as the same human" in the dating stage and the married stage. When someone shows up as a polished version of themselves to win the client, they have to keep performing that version in every session that follows.
What finally landed for Adam was simpler than any of that. "You actually have to show up with our core values. That's what you actually have to show up. If you smell like your core values, nothing else matters."
The Steal
Match the dating stage to session four
Before your next prospect meeting, run one question: would I show up this way for an eight-hour session? Not the first session, where nerves are expected. Session four, when the novelty is gone and the room already knows you. If the answer is no, something is off.
Start with the literal. What are you wearing? If you would not sit in it for eight hours on a quarterly, do not wear it to the 90-minute meeting. Adam's method is useful here: "I never want to think about what I have to wear." The less energy your clothes take, the more energy goes to the room.
Then go past the literal. How are you talking? Are you using language you would use in a session, or are you performing a version of yourself that sounds more corporate, more buttoned up, more like the Implementer you think they want? The leadership team sitting across from you is about to spend years in a room with whoever walks in today. If you are not that person, they are hiring someone who does not exist.
This works in the other direction too. If you are someone who shows up best in talks, lean into talks. If you connect people naturally, build your business development around connecting people. The point is not to do what Adam does. The point is to do the thing that looks like you on a normal Tuesday, and then keep doing it when a prospect is watching.
The client who hires the polished version expects that person in every room. The client who hires the real version already knows what they are getting.
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